Parse That Headline IV

Authorities probe insider trading at SEC: source

Ouch! That one doesn't even need to be re-parsed. If I were at the SEC, I'd be covering my shorts and going long calls to my lawyer.

Damn You Kosher, Damn You!

Eating contests of various sorts are a traditional trade floor activity. My personal claim to fame is 17 Krispy Kremes in 30 minutes (I actually maxed out after 15 minutes or so after wolfing down a dozen in under 5). I guess times are tough because the latest industry eat-off was 3 cans of cat food in 30 minutes. To be fair, I did mine for free (donuts) and according to the trader at Wachovia that the guy to my right was IMing, this guy made $700 for his efforts.

This sounds more intriguing: eating one of each item in the vending machine over one day. This guy failed, but his machine looks like it has more non-gum stuff than the one in our office. I just counted 12 bags of chips (and chip bag-sized things ), 16 chocolate bar (and similar shaped things), 4 packs of cookies and 5 types of gum in ours. Unfortunately only about 50% kosher. At least we don't have pork rinds.