Parse That Headline V

A $20 Billion Give-In? GM And Unions Finally Reach A Retiree Healthcare Deal (GM)

or

Union-Owned GM Agrees To Write Themsleves Some Post-Dated Cheques From Their Account At Imaginary Bank Of Pretendland

Economics in the Weekly Torah Portion

I actually thought about this just-posted bit of Freakonomics when I was preparing for my leining of the last 7th portion of this past week's Torah reading.

One of the better-known biblical passages, Leviticus 27:1-7, lists the value of pledges of silver to the temple based on the value of a person: 50 shekels for a man between the ages of 20 and 60, 30 shekels for a woman of the same age, 15 shekels for a man over 60, and 10 shekels for a woman over 60. Hourly wage rates of workers in the U.S. in 2008 differed greatly from the ratios implied by Leviticus. The average female worker between 20 and 60 years old earns, per hour, nearly 80 percent of a male worker the same age, not 60 percent; and the average older male worker earns nearly as much per hour as the average male worker between 20 and 60.

Most older men and women don’t participate in the labor force, and fewer 20- to 60-year-old women work than men that age. Take all U.S. citizens in each age/sex group, whether or not they work, and assume that men aged 20 to 60 earned 50 shekels per time period in 2008. Then women aged 20 to 60 earned 34 shekels, men 61 plus earned 14 shekels, and women 61 plus earned 7 shekels. Once we ignore differences in labor-force participation, the earnings ratios are not that far from what was expected 3,000 years ago.

I'll bet if you adjust for lifespans (say 60->85) and number of children (forced time out of the workforce) these ratios would be still pretty accurate. It's interesting that these values are clearly not an attempt to NPV future earnings since a 20 year old is treated the same as a 59 year old.

Parse That Headline IV

Authorities probe insider trading at SEC: source

Ouch! That one doesn't even need to be re-parsed. If I were at the SEC, I'd be covering my shorts and going long calls to my lawyer.

Skynet Daycare

I recently purchased a Woot-Off Roomba 530 and it actually does an admirable job of light vacuuming/sweeping.

Unfortunately my 2-year old daughter is terrified by the thing (she's always been sensitive to the sounds of electric shavers, hairdryers and the like) so we are pretty much constrained to using it overnight. She is so scared of it that the mere mention of the word 'roomba' or 'robot' in connection to a mess will cause her to burst into tears and ask for a cuddle.

I've only occasionally harnessed this fear as a motivating factor for her to clean up/behave/stay out of where she's not supposed to be.

As far as dystopian futures go it's not quite the Terminator or the Matrix, but I like to think I'm doing my little part to make my own little Futurama. I wish I still had my Mobile Armatron so I could drive it into her room at night and steal her fuzzy pink blankie while cackling maniacally.

Parse That Headline III

Alberta's Oilsands Royalties Fall 97%

Or

Ed Stalmach: "Crap, Crap, Crappity-Crap-Crap!"

Parse That Headline II

Courtesy of Bloomberg's crack team of writers and the rocket scientists at the IMF: Middle East Growth to Fall by 50% This Year, IMF Says

or

Oil Now Cheap As Borscht, Middle East Can't Produce Much Else (Except Terrorism and Failed States)

It's a good thing Israel isn't considered part of the Middle East. Not that Western Europe is looking to fare much better.

New Feature: Parse that Headline

Pound Down Sharply As BOE Expands Quant Easing

or

British Pound Worthless Because The Government Is Willing To Give You Free Cash For That Crap Sitting In The Giveaway Pile In Your Garage

Gamma Sector, Here We Come!

Looks like scientists believe we're closer to getting our warp on:

Some physicists say the faster-than-light travel technology may one day enable humans to jet between stars for weekend getaways. Clearly it won't be an easy task. The science is complex, but not strictly impossible, according to some researchers studying how to make it happen.

...

One reason this idea seems credible is that scientists think it may already have happened. Some models suggest that space-time expanded at a rate faster than light speed during a period of rapid inflation shortly after the Big Bang.

Sorry Mitt, it looks like Obama, Bernanke, Geitner and Co. are just doing their best to herald a new golden age of deep space exploration.

Yahrtzeit

Yesteday was the unveiling of my grandfather's tombstone and this Friday is the first Yahrtzeit since his passing last year. The following is the eulogy I gave at his funeral:

As an adult, I came to understand my grandfather’s many admirable qualities, but as a small child I would have simply told you that my Apu was fun. We never lived in the same city as our grandparents, and a trip to visit them or a visit from them was the highlight of each year. Apu was the driver who would take us to the park or to a carnival or to his cabin in the country. It was Apu that would make us laugh with jokes on the border of good taste and spoil us with treats and gifts. Apu was always ready with a silly game or activity, like Chipi Choka, a traditional Hungarian nursery rhyme that even he didn’t quite know the words to. I remember spending hours rubbing my fingers on his face, waiting for him to snap his head and try to catch my fingers in his mouth. The games would always end with a tickle or a cuddle or something of the sort.

And the stories. Apu wasn’t much for plot. I don’t think he ever successfully wrapped up a story before we were called to the table or, begrudgingly, sent off to bed. But that was probably because he used so many characters that he literally had to use our toes to keep track of them all. This little one is the baby princess, and this long one the brave knight, this one the astronaut, and this big one the troll under the bridge. Involving toes was probably also a good excuse for more tickling and cuddling.

...

As I got a little older, I began to appreciate more about my Apu. The camping and the boating and the fishing. The way he could work with his hands fixing any broken toy and making repairs around the house. I could tell my Apu was tough. His mind was practical and sharp; his hands were skilled and strong. His face was stubbly and rough.

It was the weekend of my Bar Mitzvah. I remember sitting at the table with my grandfather. With great difficulty he told me his personal story of the war years. The upheavals. The separation from his family and loved ones. What he did to survive. The magnitude of his loss. How he and my Grandma came together to rebuild from the ashes.

He also told me the escape from the oppression of communism 10 years later. Of the difficult flight across the border during that brief opportunity. Once again forced to leave loved ones behind.

And of the journey to Canada. And a fresh start as an immigrant in a strange land. And of his hard work and perseverance and success.

My Apu was tougher than tough. God and time have taken a soul that triumphed over the evils of Nazism and Communism and over the challenges and travails of life. And he showed my that no matter how tough life could be, I could be tougher.

...

I am grateful that Apu had the chance to meet and interact with all three of my children and that they got to enjoy him. While they got the chance to play a few games of Chipi Choka and hear a few elaborate toe stories from their Apu, these memories will, sadly, likely not last in their young minds. But we will show them the pictures and home movies and retell the stories to them; the silly stories and the tales of tragedy and triumph and toughness. And I am sure that their uncles will be able to tell a few of his off-coloured jokes.

Although my own children will not get to experience the same wonderful authentic Apu experience that I did, I can see how everything has shifted a generation. While my wife and I are now focused on details and responsibilities of the daily grind, it is our parents that have become the fun ones. As a parent, I can now appreciate the patience and effort it takes to tell a made up story to a 6-year old for 20 minutes, and I see my father doing just that on the way home from synagogue every week, I now know how trying a simple car trip or rainy afternoon in can be with children in tow, and it is my mother taking the children to the library or undertaking projects like making chocolate lollypops on a day off from school.

So while I feel Apu’s loss, for myself and my children, I see Apu in my children’s Savta and Saba and their uncles. And within myself. And forever with all of us.